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My letter to Darko

Dear Darko,

You are 7’0” tall. It is my understanding you don’t like to dunk. In your opinion, it is not a very skillful shot. Mr. Shaquille O’Neal has his own feelings on the dunk and I agree with him.

Last year I was begging the Twolves to re-sign you. I had to listen to old “Timeout” himself, Chris Webber, tell David Kahn rudely: “Good Luck”, when Kahn informed Webber how much he liked you as a player and his reasons for signing you. I thought you would improve. I thought you were worth it.

Chris Webber said the one thing you need in this league is for someone to believe to you. Kahn did that; Rambis has done that; I don’t understand why you haven’t gotten better.

I see the same issues come up game after game with your play. These are all things you can fix.
A) Keep your hands to yourself in the first quarter
B) Do not dribble on the block
C) Learn how to drop step
D) Dunk

A good deal of your time is spent on the bench. I have to ask you: How are you going to get playing time if you get two quick fouls and have to head to the bench? They are not hardnosed fouls; they’re stupid reaching-in fouls. These fouls seem to completely mystify you. I don’t understand why this confuses you. Being that the game before, that same move was a foul. As well as the game before that and the game before that… If you do foul, have the decency to get your money’s worth and “show some one the lights” like Reggie Theus says.

Do not dribble on the block; you turn the ball over almost every time. You are 7 foot-keep the ball over your head. I think we can agree giving it to the other team via your dribbling certainly isn’t doing the wolves any good.

The drop step was a huge weapon for your former teammate Al Jefferson. I would think some of this would rub off on you. However, you seem to insist on jump hooking from anywhere on the court. I think you put too much faith, hope and love into your skill with the jump hook. It is time to branch out. Date some other moves, you might like them.

Another “Darko Special” is to weakly throw the ball at the hoop from a foot away and hope it goes in. If I can tell you are floating and hoping, I am sure the officials can too. That is why you don’t hear the whistle when someone fouls you. That shot has no real chance of going in. I think you would be much better served going hard to the hole.

Mr. Shaquille O’Neal once said: “I ain’t no punk, that is why I Dunk.“ So, if you don’t dunk…

One of the reasons the Twolves lose and lose often is because their hugely gifted, extremely talented, 7 foot center refuses to insure him and his team two points simply because he thinks the dunk is not as skillful as a jump hook. Perhaps if you dunk instead of missing those two-foot gimmies, you could possibly loose the “soft” tag that follows you around like a stench and the Twolves would win some games.

Sincerely,

Suburban Twolves Fan

P.S. Jim Petersen and my wife say: You need to play angry.

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